Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Stuff and Junk

Hey there buckaroos and buckaroodettes! I'll skip the usual "I haven't posted recently because..." and just say "better late than never!" Much has transpired since last I "flogged" you -

Professionally: I am once again gainfully employed as a library assistant at the Piner library. I very much enjoy it - it's quiet, I get to leave work at work, and I get to organize and categorize all day! My inner bureaucrat is taken care of :)

Medically: I am now part machine (that's right, I was all man before). I wear a black helmet, breathe loudly and sound like James Earl Jones and enjoy pinching my fingers together to choke strangers (I'm a RIOT at restaurants! I make people think they're choking on alfalfa sprouts!)... But seriously YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE!!! Sorry, that just sorta pops out every now and again. Long story longer and more convoluted - YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE!!! Err... Lets assume you do know the power of there dark side so we can move on (for the record, it's eh). Listen: I had a pump implanted in my abdomen (left side), connected to a tube leading to my spine. This pump releases Baclofen (muscle relaxer/ joy juice) directly into my spine. Take that blood brain barrier!... I'm back! You may continue reading. Bet you didn't even know I was gone! Being away doing chores as I just was, I've decided that I'd like to address one or two things not related to my brain. I will call these reflections "prosaic Musings and stuff" or PMS for short. Firstly, why is it that when you (or maybe it only happens to me? Do comment.) take a full trashbag out of your trash can, another empty bag doesn't magically appear in its place? I come back to throw some sh.. away but there aren't no bag! As if that's not bad enough I have to put a new one in! It's like a gift that keeps on giving, only it's bad. It's an "ungift".
I have to go to bed now, next topic - Sunchips and the weirdo that names them (i.e. "harvest cheddar" how does one harvest cheddar? Doesn't that imply that you have to grow cheddar? Even if that were possible, where does one acquire cheddar seeds?)…to be continued.